Ever since your mother died last year your elderly father has been managing his own affairs. Although dad’s always been a proud and independent man, you’ve noticed lately that he’s been having trouble keeping up the home and his appearance. Convincing an aging parent that they need care without being too pushy is never easy. What follows are some proven ways to get even the most stubborn senior to say “yes” when their quality-of-life weighs in the balance.
Why Seniors Refuse In-Home Care
Since the average senior has spent a lifetime running a household and working at various jobs, they don’t like to be lectured by others about how to manage their affairs- especially their own children.
Whether it’s from an informal caregiver or a professional, seniors often refuse home care for reasons like:
- Privacy concerns
Confusion and memory loss caused by dementia or Alzheimer’s can further cloud a senior’s judgment. Once cognitive changes occur, convincing an aging parent to accept care can be even more challenging.
Getting Your Parent to Say “Yes”
Every senior deserves the right to age-in-place with dignity and respect. Once you start noticing that mom or dad are having trouble performing activities of daily living (ADLs) here’s how to gently ease them into the idea of in-home care:
Have “the talk” with them
Choose a non-threatening setting to sit down with your parent and respectfully share your concerns. Politely ask them if they are having trouble completing household tasks like laundry, cooking, or cleaning.
Look for telltale signs around the home. Perhaps there’s dirty dishes in the sink, stacks of unpaid bills, or empty medication bottles.
Involve your siblings
If your initial conversation doesn’t go as planned ask your siblings to chime in. Approach mom or dad as a unified group and tell them how much they mean to you, along with why you are all worried about their health and wellbeing.
Hearing the same message from multiple children may be all it takes to change a stubborn parent’s mind.
Recruit trusted outsiders
If you and your siblings are still facing resistance it may be time to involve some trusted outsiders like doctors, a faith leader, or a close friend. A geriatric care manager can also do a full health assessment and make recommendations to the family while your parent is present.
Mention others they know
Share examples of elderly friends or neighbors who benefit from having a “personal assistant” around the home. Mention some family members who have benefited from in-home care over the years. Mention how it allowed them to continue living independently at home rather than going into a long-term care facility.
Point out the advantages
If dad’s feeling lonely, point out how your presence could help cheer him up. If he’s having trouble getting around, mention specific ways that you could lend assistance.
Once you have a dialogue going it’s easier to be blunt and honest with your loved one. Also, mention the advantages of remaining at home versus moving into an assisted living facility.
Slow and steady wins the race
A good strategy is to slowly ease your parent into the idea of receiving care for a few hours per week. For example, volunteer to take dad to his medical appointments or clean his house. After they’ve gotten used to the idea of having someone around- and reaped the benefits- you can usually convince even the most hesitant parent to accept more help.
Reliable In-Home Care for Seniors in Manatee County, FL
Once they’ve agreed to accept help providing an aging parent with the level of care that’s needed isn’t always easy. At First In Care, we specialize in home care solutions that support the independent lifestyles of those we serve. Our highly trained professionals can deliver daily living assistance support in the form of respite care, personal care, companionship care, dementia care, light housekeeping, and even live-in and 24-hour care.
While serving as an extended family in the home, our compassionate caregivers use a unique approach that’s designed to maintain your senior’s quality of life, dignity, and independence. To learn more about our flexible plans and hourly rates now, or to schedule an initial consultation for a senior in Manatee County, FL, today, please visit First In Care at www.firstincare.com!